Tuesday, October 31, 2006

those guys I hate when I wanna have a good time at a rock and roll show

My last blog was the worst piece of crap. Noone cares about any of those things I wrote about. This one is gonna be about something important though. Im talking about fat shirtless guys in mosh pits.

Man, dont you hate it when you go to a really awesome show and you're way up front near the stage watching your favourite band, when suddenly a fat shirtless guy comes all moshing around you? First of all, its an awesome fact that moshing is stupid. But second of all, I hate these fat shirtless moshers! The front of the stage is so crowded, you're already touching all these other smelly guys that you'd normally avoid if you were on the subway. Now here comes this fat shirtless mosher, making sure everyone gets a feel.

Man, these guys are such selfish pieces of crap. I wonder if they know everyone around them hates them. We're looking and thinking "oh please God, keep that shirtless fat guy away from me. Eeeuuuukkh, he's covered in sweat!"

I wish I had a good solution to this problem. Its my wicked opinion that the best combatant is common sense. If you're fat and like moshing, think about others and put yourself in their shoes. say to yourself "If I was that guy, would I want to be touching me?". And for everyone else who just wants to have a good time, if you spot a fat shirtless mosher, my advice is try to find a guy who's even bigger that doesnt like moshing (he's probably standing around angrily with his arms crossed and has a bald head) and hang around that guy. He'll be a good barrier between you and anyone that tries to invade your comfort zone.

Monday, October 02, 2006

random shit about stupid shit that is really dumb

Holy moly man. Do I still need to be told smoking is bad? OKAY! Im convinced. Yes yes, I get it. Nicotine, addiction, black lungs, cancer. I get it man. Shit, leave me alone!

Like, I got this picture in an email...
Man, that's so dumb. The people who came up with that painting thought they were being clever and edgy and poignant. But look at those two guys smoking. They're just thinking "cool painting". I know that's what you're thinking. So what have we learned? A whole load of nothing!

Man, chain emails are so stupid.

Hey everyone on the internet: Stop making stupid flash cartoons! Stop right now. It's gonna suck so please stop. What? you have a new one of george bush and osama singing new stupid lyrics to yankee doodle? well too fucking bad. Man, I better not recieve anymore stupid bush/osama bloody hell damn jib jab shitty ass cartoons.

Here's a list of things that are no longer funny:
  • george bush
  • ninjas
  • arabs
  • jesus
  • robots
  • hitler
Oh hey guess what. There was some rotten old fart on Larry King today talking about his new book. In it he reveals that the Bush administration may have (gasp)...LIED!! What? You mean the same George Bush as the president? the master linguist George Bush? You mean to tell me that he's not all that he may appear to be? omg... I must buy this book!!!1!1! (this is me being sarcastic)

Holy shit, another book on george bush? ANOTHER one? Come on man, seriously what the hell? It's my wicked opinion that George Bush must've driven Amazon.com stocks up a gazillion percent. There must be a whole category dedicated to george bush now. How could someone who, he himself, reads so badly, can generate so many books?

What could this idiot possibly say in this book of his? Like honestly, what else is there to say? Hasnt everyone made up there minds already? Are there STILL people who're like "ehhhhh I dunno....My opinion on Bush can still go either way"?

Im gonna make a book on george bush too now. My Book is gonna be called "George Bush: A State of Confusion". It's an awesome fact that most books on george bush make a stupid pun with the word "State" in the title. The front cover will have a black and white picture of bush looking stupid and have the american flag super imposed. The second "o" in "Confusion" will be shaped like a sniper rifle crosshair, representing "the war".

Bloody hell, the only person left to write a book on George Bush is George Bush. Then when he does he'll go on larry king. Then Larry, like the stupid moron that he is, will be all "did george bush lie!?" and bush will all be like, "my book shows evidence that points in support to such claims" and larry will conclude, "fascinating!".

Fuck, it's the same stupid shit every stupid day. Twenty four hour news is the worst thing ever. Kookamanga, there isnt enough news in the world to fill 24 hours a day EVERY DAY! I think after OJ someone said "omg, we can make tons of money by showing the same dumb thing over and over again for the entire day. Let's just show some scary crap and end the segment with 'Could this happen to us? all we can do is wait... and see...'". CNN is exactly the same as stupid entertainment tonight, "reality tv" and wrestling. Just scrounging for more crap to put on air simply to continue making business. Only difference is that it's "on" for TWENTY FOUR HOURS! I remember when there was the six oclock news and then the 11 oclock news. Thats it man, thats it!

Not everyone that has an opinion on something should be listened to. It just confuses things and perpetrates stupid issues, which is exactly what "they" want, cause then there's more news and more stupid idiots with stupid opinions and shitty facts.

Man I hate this blog.